Buying a home is a demanding and sensitive affair. You can prevent the home buying blues by keeping calm at closing.
I am just coming from a settlement table at which a friend purchases a new condo. It's beautiful, suitable and exactly what she wanted. But, at the settlement table, she and a relation whom she truly loves got into an argument with each other. What should have been a happy circumstance was almost ruined. Thank goodness they got themselves together and the case was saved, but arguments and offended feelings are common at settlement tables and on moving day. It doesn't have to be that way.
The Trauma of Change
Changing one's home is right up there with the big changes in life - birth, death, divorce, and retirement. Most of us recognize the trauma of the first three. Many of us recognize the need to prepare mentally and emotionally for retirement. Few of us understand how severe buying and relocating to a new home fray our nerves and reduces our tempers. It can have grave consequences. I've seen deals blow up, and almost blow up, because of it. (Sometimes the protagonists are the buyer and seller.)
Mitigating Moves
There are a number of things you can do to ensure that the day you buy or sell your home is calm, sane and happy. Let's consider some of them. Some are easy and others are harder. You're apt to think of some which will be unique to you and your family.
First of all, simply realizing that these are flash points and discussing it with family members is a good starting point. There are many decisions to be made and much work to be done. Life is about to change for everyone who is a party to the process. It helps to just acknowledge that you'll need to work together so that it's a good experience for everyone in the end. Remember the expression, "I need to take a deep breath and get my equilibrium back." Clue in family members when you feel the tension rise.
Get a good night's sleep the night before the settlement. Have a good, unrushed breakfast. Have somebody you know very well look after little children and pets until after settlement; you don't need diversions during a big financial transaction.
At settlement, ask questions about anything you don't understand. Use a quiet, neutral voice. Don't sound like you are accusing someone of something. Simply ask for information and clarity. Don't feel rushed. Take the time to understand. Many of the arguments I've seen at the settlement table happened because someone assumed something and didn't ask about it. They just pitched into an irritated tirade. Not a good idea.
What if your questions turn up an unexpected and unacceptable answer? Let it be known that you expected it to be handled another way and why. Listen to any explanation calmly. Evaluate it. Does the other person have a valid point? How much difference does it make to you? Remember, it isn't necessary to have everything exactly as you'd like in order to have the transaction go well for you. Keep the big picture in mind. You don't have to be right about everything, nor do you have to win every point in order to be pleased with the final outcome.
Whether or not you call it closing or settlement, the final meeting will be hectic even if everything absolutely goes perfectly. Ensure you get through it by reducing the stress.